In recent days of analyzing relationships that failed between friends, especially those we are emotionally invested in, the common threads weaving through them are mistrust masked by other factors such as laziness. Observing, analyzing, comparing, and contrasting, aided by life’s lessons, gives wisdom to those open to the process to try. The method of showing others what is expected of them by our willingness to treat another well is a place to start. Doing so from the heart, with kindness in deeds and words, sets a foundation upon which to grow. Unfortunately, some are takers and see nothing is wrong with doing so. At the same time, those being taken by them are aware of what’s being done but, out of blind loyalty and misplaced trust, ignore and continue in their relationships.
On the flip side, it is hard to understand why, knowingly, any of us would deprive ourselves of life’s possibilities to flourish? That of moving forward to attain life’s goals even at the risk of possible failure?! Anyone who has lived beyond adolescence knows that life comes with losses, and those losses make us appreciate those successes when they arrive. Therefore, disappointment shouldn’t serve as an excuse not to try by depending on others to do it for us. The success and promises of our lives start with us trying to better ourselves. If we don’t trust the process or engage life to our benefit, how can we offer anything of substance to another during a relationship? How can there be any balance and purpose in such relationships?
It should be a heart thing being in relationships no matter the state of that relationship., If the scale is unbalanced, then we will operate from a place of a deficit, and when the heart isn’t right, someone will be at a disadvantage. Our self-worth, convictions, and value, not a monetary value but a value of ourselves, should be the focal point of who we are in part and whole within our exchange. It dictates the core of our life’s decisions and filters over into everything we do. And if we are emotionally warped or fractured, the heart can easily become a breeding ground for jealousy and lives adversely affected.
This scenario is evident in lopsided friendships, such as one person working hard towards achieving their goal while the other is a free-loader that hangs around to reap from the efforts of others. Eventually, something will give, and someone’s feelings will be hurt, or worse, someone will get hurt. Recently, this played out for the world to see of this young woman who got beaten to death by friends who took from her. This is one of those extreme examples of lopsided relationships. All the signs were there for her to see, but she ignored those red flags and paid dearly with her life. Maintaining risky relationships is unwise; they might not kill us physically but spiritually. It shouldn’t matter who they are or how long they are in our lives; God has given us life and did so abundantly. Therefore, we should honor Him by protecting ourselves and starting with striving for our life’s goals, even if it means going alone. Peace!!