I agonized about sharing this personal story, but my heart wouldn’t allow me not to. As an eight-year-old, the eldest of my siblings, made me aware of what was going on within the family. During that time, our family dynamics changed, influenced by another family who was our neighbor. Their actions forever changed our lives, resulting in years of anger from me towards them; it was so bad I almost ended up hating them. However, knowing love and hate cannot dwell in the same place, I learned overtime to find a level of peace with their actions that resulted in destroying our family. I realized there are reasons for some of life’s worse outcomes during the latter years. And time gives clarity with understanding, which it did for me.
In 2002, both families were now living aboard in the same State. There is an old saying that good news travels slow, and bad news travels fast. It so happened that in 2002 the world that I knew got turned upside down, pushing me to the edge. Yes, I found myself in a place that I wouldn’t wish on an enemy if I had had one. Those I was sure would stand by me, kept their distance, but guess what, the same people whom I detested for most of my life, on hearing of my situation, came forward and not only protected me, they loved on me like I was their gift from God. So, for the next several years, they supported me in all my endeavors, and nothing was too much or too good for them to do for me, and today I am the better because of them. Unfortunately, the matriarch of that family died this week, which created a void in my life. But, I found comfort knowing I’ve been there when she needed me the most, and she knew I loved her.
I have learned the power of forgiveness, and it could become one of the greatest rewards we could ever give ourselves. Sometimes forgiveness is what ushers us into a place of fulfillment with peace. I wish I could name the person here, but it would be seen as a betrayal and evoked anger because of our shared history due to our cultural norms. So, I will say, “My angel, you have gained your wings, and heaven is your new home; I love you, and whatever life hands me, it’s because you had stretched out your hands to me and showed me the way why my life today is better. I will honor you for the rest of my life, always striving to be all you believed that I can be.” I love you, Mama B but forever you’ll be a part of me! Marjorie Delores