Soul Expression

As a poet and storyteller, my acute sensitivity keeps me involved, inquisitive, wanting not just to be an observer of life but an active contributor to what I believed is possible in life. At this juncture, SOUL EXPRESSION endeavors to be engaging through a bold approach in highlighting and shared what may be uncomfortable but needs to be said. If we can agree at this onset to disagree with respect, however, dare to accept each other’s differences without hostility,  what we hope for can become a reality. Of course, this is up to us, as an old adage reminded us: “One hand cannot clap!” But, if I extend mine, and you, yours,  the sounds we make can resonate through the halls of time, and we’ll be the better because of it.  We can do this; I know we can!

Several years ago, I had an assignment as a private healthcare provider for a woman who had experienced a cerebral aneurysm. Her husband, in his eighties, was her overseer, ensured she got adequate care. One day, I shared with her husband that I had a terrible headache while attending to her care. He became shocked by the fact that I was capable of feeling pain and had a headache? Then, in his state of astonishment, he blurted out a loud, “You people get headaches? I didn’t know that you people could get headaches?” At that moment, I had to pause and exhaled before responding calmly, “Your wife had an aneurysm of the brain, but you are exhibiting all the symptoms!” Needless to say, we parted company that day. So why do I share this?  To highlight the level of stupidity that ignorance breeds. And the sad part of this story is the man’s race is one of the most persecuted groups of people in the world. Ignorance is a disease that can easily be treated, but its host must be open to change through knowledge. This is the only remedy, and it begins with having an open mind. And the tragedy of it—some of those who are ardent partakers and supporters of racism still suffers the same social-ill and They are the worst perpetrators. Go figure how twisted the mind can become. Inflicting upon another group of people what threatens your very humanity? This is food for thought! Someone, anyone, please explain? I need to understand this.

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I had this experience as a twenty-four-year-old in this country that forever framed my perception of racism.  Racism is formed from sheer ignorance with an unwillingness to embrace others unlike us. Fortunately for me, in the first 23 years of my life, I was identified only by my given name, nationality, and as my parents’ child. Never, by my race. It was not a consideration in my place of birth. Until I leave home!

I was in Morristown Town, New Jersey, in 1982 when it first happens, in an encounter with a child. I had crossed paths with this elderly woman and her four-year-old grandchild. It so happens that where we were, we had to wait for the services that brought us together. So, we sat across from each other in the waiting area. However, I was taken aback by the look of astonishment mingled with confusion that covered the little girl’s face as she stared at me with that look of shock written all over her face.  At first, I didn’t know what to make of her action. But then, it occurred to me that she hadn’t seen anyone who looked like me before. So, I decided to address the situation by introducing myself to her.

“Hi?” I greeted her warmly. Hearing me speak seemed to confuse her even more. I continued, “I am Margie. What is your name?”  Unsure how to respond, she looked to her grandmother, who assured her it was Ok to speak. Moving closer into her grandmother’s space, she began to relax; turning, she smiles at me.

I spoke to her for a while, then began to sing nursery rhymes I thought she most likely would be familiar with. And she soon warmed up to me. Impulsively she reached out to touch me but swiftly pulled back. Looking at me, she rubbed her arm then looked at me again. Finally, I understood what was happening and inquired of her, “Do I look like burnt toast?”

Immediately responded, “Yes, yes! The older woman became beet red, unsure what to say; she confirmed the obvious. “She has never seen a person of color before!”

Excitedly the little girl inquired of her grandmother, “Meme, I like her! Can we take her home and wash her off? I want to keep her!”  I was floored by what had taken place but couldn’t help but laugh aloud in my response. This child could not be held responsible for her elders. They are the ones who are preparing her for the whole.

On their departure, the little girl shook my hand while reluctantly following her grandmother; looking back as they walked away, she wanted me to accompany them. If we could be childlike in our approach, be ready, to become engaged by simply talking to each other than at each other? This would be a good place to begin.

• I have tried to stay away from hot-button topics such as race. However, I realize that being in denial of the proverbial elephant in the room doesn’t solve anything; at worse, it only compounds them. Each one of us is chosen at birth; we didn’t choose ourselves. Not one of us determines our race, ethnicity, social or economic standing, or religious affiliation at the onset of our lives. Those dynamics are baked into who we are with variations across time. Beyond childhood, we have the option to change all of those dynamics except our race. May I be so bold as to ask why anyone should feel they are being punished because of their race? As a woman of color with a deep sense of self and my history, it saddens me to see the level of intolerance, hatred, and contempt amongst people whose aim is the same basic virtues of life! We desire the freedom to thrive, love, worship, and be the best we can be without inflicted hindrances

• I realize that being unengaged in this discussion also makes me an accomplice through denial and apathy. But, unfortunately, this awareness has now forced me into having this uncomfortable discussion on this very topic of race! As a parent of a child and grandmother of three, along with my extended family, friends, neighbors, fellow citizens, this is no time for any of us to remain spectators.  My loved ones and I are in the crosshairs of this beast’s hatred, which is about devouring the good that resides in us as a people.  I believe ignorance is at the core of this social ill that is dwarfing us, and the time of pretending we are invisible is long past; let us have this discussion about saving us and be honest about it! Marjorie Delores

On this journey within what seems to be a maze of circumstances, it’s important to be centered. I found my center within my faith and belief in God. At this focal point of life, I endeavored to navigate obstacle courses with reason and purpose, fostering personal growth. Within this process, the depth of my strength becomes renewed, creating a sense of striving towards a goal that honors life and living.